The public affirmation of our covenant to each other meant, "No relationship on earth, other than my relationship with Jesus Christ and God, is more important than my relationship with my spouse." If we do not leave our parents correctly, we will be like a couple I knew who were dependent financially on the wife's family.The situation was robbing the husband of his family leadership potential.At this point, I want to encourage you husbands to be the man and protect your wife.Sometimes you may need to graciously but firmly step in and shield her from a manipulative parent.The Hebrew words used in Genesis , which states that "a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife," mean "to forsake dependence upon," "leave behind," "release," and "let go." Later, Jesus addressed the issue when he said that no one was ever intended to come between a husband and a wife (Matthew 19:6). No in-laws, no mother, no father was meant to divide a couple who had made a covenant with each other to leave, cleave, and become one flesh. Psychologist Dan Allender says in the book that "the failure to shift loyalty from parents to spouse is a central issue in almost all marital conflict." God knows that leaving parents will be a difficult transition, especially in homes where the child-parent bond has been solid and warm.
If you are having trouble maintaining a clean break as a couple, you may decide to spend less time at home for out-of-town visits.He was losing self-respect as a man, and it was undermining his wife's respect for him as well.It can be equally destructive to continue to be emotionally dependent on a parent.The wife kept looking to her dad to bail them out after poor choices.Her husband wasn't able to grow up, face his responsibility to make correct choices for his family, and live with the consequences of his decisions.